Problem with Self-Identification

Nowadays i had some affairs which intendedly insisted me to identify myself. Interview, motivation letter, and some forms made me have to think hard about myself. It feels hard because they asked me to tell about my strength, weakness, motivation, best achievement, worst and best experience, positive and negative traits, and so on. It took much time for me to identify what’s inside myself. Those individual stuffs became a sign that i haven’t known myself better. If i had recognized myself, it wouldn’t be so hard to do those stuffs or simply it wouldn’t take much time to answer those questions. In some occasions, it can be answered (eventually), if i am allowed to think about it for long time, but when i had interview, those kind of questions insisted me to response very quickly. I realize that it became a fault because in the end i answered what’s passing by my mind at that moment, which mostly turned out totally wrong. I was thinking like “stupid! what did i say before?”. And at the end, i really regret what i said. Why? Because i come up with wrong self-identification in which will affect others’ assessment. I feel like either stupid or dishonest to people. Besides interview is a deal breaker when you want to join a company, organization, or something else. Questions like your strength, weakness, motivation, traits, and something else are things must be asked in every interview. And if you don’t do it well like giving inappropriate answer, you will fail.

A few weeks ago, i had an interview to join an organization. The interviewer asked me about my negative traits, and i had no idea to say and ended up with saying i am easy to feel bored. It’s really stupid because they responded “that’s the problem. we are afraid if we recruit people like that, they will come and go whenever they want.” A few days after the interview, i had been rethinking about that answer. I asked myself, “am i like that? Am i easily bored?”. I analyzed it based on my personal experience and finally realized that my previous answer was wrong.  Most of my time are filled with routinity and though it’s boring sometimes, i’m totally fine with that. So i don’t have easily-bored kind of trait just like what i said before. For so many times, i was wrong about myself again.

Other little example (and the truth as well) is i have to fill every recruitment form for about some days. It’s not easy actually for me so I have to take much time to contemplate about it, about myself. Sad right? My feeling even gets worse when sometimes people closer to me mentioned one type of person which is like me. And i say “am I?”. Experience like that left some question marks on my mind. And at the end, all i can say is that other people know myself more than i do. Thus i feel guilty to myself.

According to me, the key of my problem is either i haven’t identified myself yet correctly or simply i haven’t been accustomed being asked about those kind of personal questions. That’s why it feels hard. The point is some experiences about this problem make me learn that knowing one’s own self is a basic thing someone has to do in life. Recognizing it before others do too. Identifying it deeply then you will live your life much better.

Wish me can make it soon!

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